Free Wisdom

It was almost exactly one year ago that ground was broken for my new house. I would be lying if I said it didn't seem that long. It seems that long and more. And in that rather short, long time, I've learned quite a bit about house building... quite a bit about personalities... quite a bit about life. And, just like the nagging parent who feels compelled to impart their worldly wisdom upon their offspring, I feel compelled to impart my newfound wisdom upon you, dear reader. And as you peruse these nuggets of knowledge, take heed in the lessons learned - but always bear in mind they are worth exactly what you've paid for them.

Money doesn't talk. It doesn't even whisper.

Going into my house building project, I naively believed that if I diligently paid my contractors competitive wages, and paid them on time, they would be falling over themselves to complete my project. Ha! In the grand scheme of things, I suppose I should find gratification in the fact that these folks felt compelled to honor the commitments they made to all of their clients, and couldn't be "bought." But when you're the one waiting for something to be done, you just wish all the other clients would go away - or at least take their place in line behind you.

You can't make friends with the dumpster guy.

Some of the people who were involved in building the house were on site for weeks. A few were here for months. Then there were the others that made only a few appearances. Regardless of the longevity of the professional relationship, I felt an indebtedness to these people who were helping to make my dream come true and would make an attempt to get to know them a little, even if, sometimes, it only amounted to small talk. And so it was with the guy who came to empty the dumpster periodically. Actually, it was several different guys - they have a number of drivers. But regardless of who was in charge of emptying the dumpster, the conversation always went something like this:

Me: Hi, how ya doing?

Dumpster guy: Hmm.

Me: Been keeping busy?

Dumpster guy: (looks at me with an evil stare that even Charles Manson would envy - says nothing)

Me: Well, um, okay, I guess you've gotta do your job.

Dumpster guy: (stares at the trash dropping from the dumpster into the garbage truck, says nothing)

The Tax man always cometh.

When you build a house, there are always people coming and going. Workers, delivery people, curious neighbors. One visitor I hadn't expected was the tax assessor. I knew such people existed, but up to this point, I had survived without ever meeting one. When I owned my old house in Searsport, I did considerable work on both the inside and outside and never met a tax assessor. My taxes went up all the same, but that was due to an increased mill rate rather than an increase in assessment.

But, yes, the Northport tax accessor did show up unannounced (is there any other way?) one day well into the construction process. So I gave him the tour, only half-jokingly trying to convince him that ocean view he was witnessing from several of the upstairs windows was, in fact, a mirage that should not add to the house value.

There was a silver lining in his visit, however. He showed up one day in May, and the tax assessments for the year are supposed to be completed by April 1. So, after he finished looking through the house, he was obligated to ask "can you tell me what was done on April 1st?" Sure, I was tempted to tell him that I hadn't even broken ground yet, but I thought he'd see right through that. Truth is, I couldn't remember how much was or wasn't done back on April 1, so we pretty much settled on "the shell" of the house being completed. My subsequent tax bill bears out the fact that the house was assessed as a work in progress, so I can breath easy for this year. I'm sure I'll see Mr. Assessor next spring, though.

Once you get your contractors to show up, don't let them leave

It is a complicated thing to schedule the completion of the various components that go into building a house. You can't start the electrical work until the framing is done, for instance - but all of the framing doesn't have to be done before you start in on the electrical. Similar thing with plumbing, drywall, flooring, exterior trim, and on and on. In the best of circumstances, organizing all this work requires careful planning, a spreadsheet, and perseverance in calling, and re-calling your contractors to keep them appraised of the situation. When you add in the fact that the contractors are working on several projects at once and can't necessarily show up when you need them, the situation only gets compounded exponentially.

The key, I found, is, if at all possible, line up a big, big chunk of work for the contractor to perform once they do show up. Once a contractor gets started on something, they have no problem continuing on it unabated as long as there is nothing getting in the way of their work. But, beware - once they hit a stumbling block and can't proceed, you won't see them for awhile. You'll get assurances that they'll be back "tomorrow," or "early next week" or the like, but, trust me, that won't happen! They'll come back when they're good and ready to come back.

And that is the main reason why building projects always take longer than you would like or expect. And despite you best intentions, you're bound to wind up in a situation like I'm in now. The steps running from the first floor to the basement are unfinished. I couldn't finish them when the carpenters were here because the drywall in the staircase wasn't finished (yes, I let him get away). Now the drywall is done, but the carpenters are long gone and are booked up well into the new year. Can anybody recommend a good carpenter?

Listen to your mother

When I first started building the house, my mother asked me how long I expected it to take. I told her six months. She said count on about nine months. It took a little over nine months (considering, of course, that it's never really "done" but is certainly livable).

The dumpster is never big enough

I'm not sure why I'm stuck on dumpsters - after all, seeing it carted away was one of the most gratifying moments of the whole house building experience (it didn't add a whole lot to the landscape). But while it was here, it was mighty handy. There is an awful lot of waste resulting from building a house. Too much waste. Especially when that waste costs you $150 each time they come to empty the dumpster. Going into the project, I naively expected to empty the dumpster three, maybe four, times. This was not to be so. The most exasperating experience was when I got the dumpster emptied on a Thursday and it was full again, with discarded wallboard, by the next Friday afternoon. I think the final count on the number of times I had to get the dumpster emptied was eight or nine. Ouch.

Don't try to save money by moving out of your apartment and into your house before the house is finished

Yes, you get anxious. You've watched this thing evolve from nothing over that past eight months and you're more than ready to get out of the ratty old apartment and into your shiny new house. One of the bedrooms is done. One of the bathrooms is almost done. Why pay another month's rent when you don't have to? To maintain your sanity, that's why.

Sure, it's a step up from camping, but at least when you're camping your expectations aren't as high. How do you cook without a stove? Everything goes in a crock pot. How do you keep things cold without a refrigerator? You buy lots of ice from the corner store and keep the cooler stocked. How to you wash dishes without a kitchen sink? (Which can't be installed because you have no kitchen counters.) You use a plastic tub and a garden hose. How do you keep your girlfriend from complaining about all these things? Well, I never did figure that one out.

Stick with what you know best and hire professionals to do the other things

It was such a small task, I was sure I would get it done in no time. All I needed to do was cut two small pieces of baseboard trim to cover a corner. Two hours and a brand new pile of kindling later, I finally had my two pieces of baseboard trim cut. Then I tried to nail them on. Two taps of the nail, and my 2 hours of work were neatly cracked in two. The corner is still bare.

Get radiant heat

If you're not up on ways to heat a house, radiant heat is tubing that runs under (or through) the floor and in which hot water is circulated. The result is warm floors and a quiet, consistent heat. I never lived in a house with radiant heat before, but the concept appealed to me. Now that I've actually had a chance to experience it, I couldn't recommend it more. Yes, you'll pay more for it than a conventional heating system, but over the life of the house, you'll consider it a bargain.

Keep water out of your gasoline

Hey, I don't know how it got in there. I didn't do it. The lawn mower wasn't happy with it at all, though. That new lawn got mighty tall before I finally got the mower working.

Don't leave all you stuff sitting outside, even if it's covered, while you wait for the drywall guy to complete the basement

This gets back to the point above of not letting your contractor leave once he gets here. But sometimes it is unavoidable. And so, all our stuff sat under the deck for a good three weeks or so.

Water can seep up from the ground just as well as it can fall from the sky. Water makes cardboard deteriorate and makes the things stored within the cardboard smelly and moldy. This is a good way, however, to greatly reduce the amount of "stuff" you feel you have a need for. Smelly, moldy things, I've found, become much less desirable than they were previously.

Well, that's all the wisdom I have to offer this time around. I'm sure there was a lot more I learned from the whole experience, but nature has a way of blocking out "difficult" experiences over time. This is a good thing, otherwise man would have quit building houses after the first one.