Updated on December 23, 2002

The Emperor of Bayside

On August 13, 2002, I became an elected official. I'm not sure if that automatically makes me a "politician" as well - I am, of course, hoping it doesn't. It was on this day that I officially became an "Overseer" of the Northport Village Corporation. Unlike the widespread mudslinging and negative campaigning of the recent national election, I must admit that my campaign was very low key. I guess I could be accused of negative campaigning - I tried in vain to say "no," again and again, to those who wanted me to run.

A little background is in order. We live in a small community called "Bayside" which consists primarily of small, seasonal Victorian cottages clustered around the bay. Bayside is officially a part of the town of Northport, but the "Northport Village Corporation," which is the technical name for Bayside, is a self-governing body that runs many of the functions of the community of Bayside. If I'm not explaining it too well, it's because I, and just about everyone else, doesn't understand it very well. Suffice it to say that it is all legal in the eyes of the state government and that the Northport Village Corporation is responsible for just about everything to do with the village other than road maintenance.

The "government" of the Northport Village Corporation consists of a board of seven "Overseers," as well as a Village Corporation President and Treasurer. Once a year, in August when most of the "summer people" are around, the village holds it's annual meeting where we vote on the budget and elect the overseers for the coming year. I was approached by the Treasurer earlier this year about running for one of the overseer positions. At first I was flattered - having only been in the community for a couple of years, it felt nice to be recognized and to be deemed as worthy for such a responsibility. The more I looked into it, however, the more it became apparent that they were looking for just about anybody to step up and become an overseer. It is a thankless, payless job that, depending on the committees you become involved with, can take a considerable amount of your free time (or your not-so-free-time). I ended up declining the invitation, only to be asked again, and again, until my civic-responsibility guilt pangs got the best of me. "Yes," I said, "I'll give it a shot."

Leading up to the big day, my campaigning consisted of sheepishly admitting I was running to those who had heard rumor and asked me about it. When the "big day" arrived, I made sure Denise accompanied me to the annual meeting in hopes that I would at least garner two votes. However, when we got to the meeting, we discovered that since her name isn't on the property deed, she wasn't eligible to vote! (We have since discovered that as a "year-round resident" she is, in fact, eligible to vote.)

Prior to the voting, the candidates were asked to stand and say a bit about themselves. Knowing almost nothing about the issues affecting the village, my "campaign speech" consisted primarily of introducing myself and letting people know where I lived. I'm not sure if it rivaled JFK's inauguration speech, but I could have sworn I saw tears welling up in some people's eyes. Or maybe that was sweat - we were in an unconditioned hall in 90 degree heat.

The ballots were passed around and we were instructed to vote for up to seven candidates. The ballot listed exactly seven candidates. One poor misguided sole had also offered himself as a write-in candidate so, in fact, there was actually a bit of competition - one of us wouldn't make the cut! There was actually hope that I wouldn't be elected!

After the vote they collected the ballots for counting and continued with other business. About an hour later, the results had been tabulated and the winners were announced in the order from most votes attained to least votes attained. I wasn't the top vote getter. I wasn't second. I wasn't third. I wasn't fourth. At this point, I actually started entertaining the fantasy that I could, indeed, be so unpopular as to lose a "sure thing" vote. I wasn't fifth.

Finally, my name was announced as the sixth overseer elected. Not only had I been elected, but I beat out another person on the ballot, as well as the write-in candidate! My legacy was sealed! Look out, Washington, here I come!

Since that time, I've been to three of the monthly overseer meetings, as well as a get-acquainted barbecue. And what have I learned in this time? I've learned that small-town politics, like big-time politics, consists of a seemingly endless stream of conflict, ego clashes, hissy fits, and personality conflicts. And, occasionally, we do manage to get some things done. In short, I think the producers of those reality shows are missing the boat by ignoring our monthly soap operas.

Given my background in publishing, I was assigned to be the chairman of the rather uncontroversial "Information Committee." As such, it is my job to put out a quarterly newsletter, inform the citizenry of upcoming meeting and events, and "manage" the four bulletin boards around town. To date, the only crisis that I've been personally involved with is the fact that the mailing list I was given for the newsletter is about 10 years out of date - which I didn't find out until after I sent out the first newsletter.

But that's not to say I haven't been a part of the other "life-threatening" controversies faced by the Overseers. Take, for instance, the "Cottage Controversy." It seems the Bayside Historic Preservation Society was given the opportunity to acquire an historic cottage, free of charge, that needed to be moved from it's present location. The BHPS saw this as the perfect opportunity to both preserve an original cottage and to establish a museum for their collection of Bayside historic paraphernalia. All they needed was a place to put the cottage - which is where the Board of Overseers comes in.

The Village of Bayside is the official owner of a number of parcels of land within the village. These parcels have either been donated by their owners or were part of the original "common spaces" that existed in the community prior to the establishment of the Village Corporation. Some of these common areas are maintained as parks, while others are woodlands or pathways. The BHPS sought to place the cottage on village property so as to be enjoyed by current and future generations of Baysiders.

Coming into the Overseer's meeting, all was well and good with this cottage proposal. The BHPS wanted to place the cottage next to the village library - creating a core area in the center of the village dedicated to community involvement. The Board of Overseers approved of the cottage project and the leasing of land to the BHPS for placing the cottage. All that was necessary was to officially rubber stamp the proposal and get on with it.

Or so we thought. Once the issue came up at the meeting, the opposition roared it's head! Putting the cottage next to the library would be a slap in the face of the persons who donated the land for the library, impassioned opponents pleaded. No it wouldn't, others argued. And back and forth it went - to the level of shouting at times. This was my first Overseers meeting, but after a while, I felt it was time for me to be heard. There was an alternative location that the BHPS had offered as a possibility for the cottage - if nobody had any objections to this location, why don't we just use this as the site and put the controversy to rest, I asked.

A few people shook their heads in agreement, but others just let my words go in one ear and out the other. More "discussion" ensued. In the end, we agreed to allow the cottage to sit on the library site "temporarily" until more study could be done and a compromise could be reached.

Flash forward two months. More discussions are held. Visits to the proposed sites are made. An abutter goes ballistic when she sees the cottage sitting next to her house, despite the fact that she had no objection when told of the proposal. Opinions are cast, arguments are made. And in the end, the Overseers vote to place the cottage at the alternative site - which is what I originally proposed but which nobody seemed to hear. Ah, sweet politics!

There are nine more Overseer's meetings to be held before the August election. I haven't decided yet whether to run for re-election when the time comes. But from what I've seen so far, I've already determined that having seven people come to a decision on anything is too much to ask. A dictatorship would, in my opinion, be a far more effective and efficient form of government. But calling the leader of Bayside a "dictator" would be far too harsh a title coming from this tranquil oceanfront village. Instead, I would suggest we appoint an "Emperor of Bayside." I've already begun my fitting for the robe and scepter.