Trains, Planes, Boats, and Cars

Lately, I have been accused of being somewhat unqualified to write about life in Maine because I have been spending more time traveling outside of it than I have living in it. And although I'd argue that that is a bit of an exaggeration, I certainly will admit that I have spent a good deal of time on the road this year. As I write this, I am cramped inside of an airplane, for example. But all this travel has afforded me the opportunity to become somewhat of an expert on getting over, through, out of, and back into Maine. There are a zillion versions of the story of a tourist stopping to ask a crusty old Yankee how to get to a particular destination, only to be told "Yuh con't git theyuh from heyuh." Well, it may be a quaint story, but it is antiquated, because there really aren't many places you can't get to in Maine in this day and age. How you get there, however, is often dictated by where it is you want to end up.

The first mode of transportation that comes to mind for Americans is, of course, the automobile. Or, these days, more specifically, the sport utility vehicle. There are plenty of roads in Maine, but by and large most people traveling through the state end up on either of two main thoroughfares - Rt. 1, which, depending on your perspective, either begins or ends at the northern tip of Maine and winds down the coastline to the southern tip (and all the way to Florida if you get ambitious), and the Maine Turnpike/Rt. 95.

This time of year, Rt. 1 is for the masochist. Lined with tourist traps, and the ubiquitous tourists that they attract, a journey up Rt. 1 is at once both interesting and frustrating. Interesting in the many small towns and shops you encounter along the way, but frustrating in that it will take you hours to make it through those many small towns on the way to your eventual destination.

The turnpike is your typical concrete ribbon through nothingness. Apparently to try to ward off boredom, the Turnpike Authority places "instructional" signs every so often imploring you to "dim lights when approaching traffic," or "reduce speed in rain and fog." They'll also ask you if your "tires are safe" and is your "seatbelt fastened?" I guess they have to spend our toll money on something, so it might as well be signs touting the obvious.

And although you won't have to stop for every little town along the way, the turnpike is not always the smooth, pleasure ride that the Turnpike Authority would like it to be. This is especially true if you are traveling on it on Friday afternoons or Sunday afternoons, the prime tourist influx and departure times. At the worst, you may find yourself sitting at a virtual standstill outside the Kittery toll booths, spending an hour or more inching along until you finally earn the right to hand over $1.50 for the pleasure of this anguish. Most sensible people and even the idiots among us would look at this situation and logically ascertain that the solution for alleviating these problems is to eliminate the toll booth. But noooooooooooooo... the Turnpike Authority is quick to quote their "experts" who say eliminating the tollbooth would have little effect on the congestion. I think they should make these so-called experts sit in traffic every Friday and Sunday night throughout the summer - it may not knock any sense into them, but at least it would give me the satisfaction of knowing that they are suffering along with the rest of us.

Automobile too slow for you? Then, of course, you need to fly. When you talk of flying in Maine, you get very close to the "you can't get there from here" syndrome. Basically, if you're flying any of the major airlines, then you are either going to end up in Portland or Bangor. There are commuter airlines that offer puddle jumpers to and from places like Bar Harbor and Presque Isle as well, but hardly a year goes by when one of these airlines is either cutting back or eliminating flights to these "remote" destinations, so you take your chances when you book a flight with these folks.

One of the nice things about living in Maine is that flying into our out of one of the "major" airports - Bangor or Portland - is always a pleasant, non-stressful experience. The airports are easy to get to - you never have to worry about getting stuck in traffic. Parking is generally available and reasonably priced - $6 to $7 per day, compared to Boston's $6 or so per hour. And no matter what time of day you travel, the airports themselves are more like ghost towns than bastions of confusion. The down side to this is that what you make up for in convenience and stress-free travel, you pay for in high ticket prices. Ticket prices, of course, change all the time, but in general it's probably fair to say that a flight from Portland will be almost double the cost of the same flight from Boston, and a flight from Bangor will be about $100 more than the same flight from Portland.

If you stretched it all out, Maine has over 3000 miles of coastline, so entering or leaving the state by boat is always an option. If you're heading up the coast, you'll probably have to bring your own boat. There are no scheduled ferry runs from places such as Boston or New York. So, buy, borrow, or rent a nice big sailboat and spend a few months exploring some of those 3000+ miles. If you're in Maine, you can get to a number of the populated islands using the ferry service. They usually run on the hour or half hour, but make sure you know the schedule and plan accordingly - if you're late,they won't wait for you. For a few islands, like Isle Au Haut, you can hop on the mail boat for the once-a-day trips between the island and the mainland.

If you are Canadian or just want to act like one, you can take one of the regulary scheduled ferries between Maine and Nova Scotia. The Bluenose makes daily trips out of Portland, and it's usually an overnight excursion, complete with gambling casinos and restaurants. For the slightly more impatient, you can take the "Cat" out of Bar Harbor, a high-speed catamaran ferry that zips across the Bay of Fundy at 55 mph, churning up a wake that can be seen for miles and occassionally running over the fishing boats that happen to be in its way. Okay, to be fair, that's only happened once and there's plenty of controvesy as to who was at fault (the fishing boat captain that was killed isn't talking), but it's also fair to say that the jury is still out as to whether a behemoth ferry charging through the ocean at 55 mph is good for boats, fish, whales, birds and anything else that happens to be in its way.

Trains, the primary mode of transportaion within the state 100 years ago, are attempting to make a bit of a comeback, but plans for any substantial passenger service always seem to get derailled (sorry about that, I couldn't resist). We may, in fact, see the re-incarnation of a passenger rail link between Boston and Portland, but that has been promised for years and I, like a lot of people, won't believe it until we see it. For a few years, they were running a ski train from Portland to Bethel (home of Sunday River ski area), but that, apparently, was not a money-making proposition and was quietly put to sleep a couple of years ago. There are a number of "tourist" trains throughout the state which offer train rides merely for the sake of riding a train. There used to be one here in Belfast, but the owners of the railroad and the town, which owns the waterfront land on which part of the tourist train sits, are embroiled in a name-calling, hissy fit and the railroad decided to pick up its toys and go home. Home being Unity, where they are still offering rides becasue the owner of the railroad owns just about everything else in Unity.

For the more ambitious, bicycling offers a great view of the state at a more civilized pace. The good news on this front is that the state is primarily rural and forested, so you've got an abundance of back roads to explore. The bad news is that few of these back roads have shoulders on the sides of the road on which to ride a bike, and what little traffic there is on the roads is usually barrelling through at speeds that are, shall we say, "uncomfortable" to the bicyclists that are clinging to what little "side" of the road there is. If you're just in it for the excercise rather than getting "here" from "there," your best bet is to hit the carriage trails in Acadia National Park. They offer some of the most spectacular scenery around, and motorized vehichles are a no-no, so you won't have to worry about being run off the road (except by other cyclists, of course).

So you see, you can get here from there. And while you're here, why not write and tell me about it, since it seems I'm "there" a lot more than I'm here lately.